Product Review – Muddy Pigs
Posted by Proud Dad in Product Review on March 10, 2010
LTD has really started to come into his own in the bathtub. In addition to splashing, which is always a treat, he has taken to playing with the various bath time toys available to him. One such item found in the “clean, but not kosher” category is Munchkin’s Muddy Pigs. Now I know what you’re thinking, why are the pigs muddy if they go in the bath? That’s actually the point. Designed to get kids used to the joys of bath time the mud on the pigs magically disappears in warm water. The idea is that the little guy will use the included washcloth to clean the pigs. LTD is still to young to understand how to use the cloth, but The Mommy and I are so starved for culture that watching the mud vanish was like seeing Lance Burton perform in Vegas.
The pigs also come with a hidden trick that for me is more exciting than the disappearing mud. The pigs have tiny holes in their mouths that turn them into squirting swine. I don’t know about the little guy, but I get a kick out of turning the other white meat into something that is basically a squirt gun. And yes, I did accidentally hit The Mommy with a stream of warm soapy water and yes, I did pay for it. For now, LTD is too little to use the pigs as squirters, so it will be interesting to see what the future holds. That is if I can stop being such a “hog” and let him use them every once in a while.
Tom Cruise in Top Gun, Not on Oprah
These days change is coming fast and furious in the baby universe. LTD was crawling for a brief time when he decided it was too boring. He wanted a better view of the living room, so he spends his days cruising around the couch and coffee table. He has also decided to flex his muscles in other ways by exercising his force of will. If you try to get him to sit when he is standing or cruising he demonstrates with extreme prejudice just who really is in charge. He steamrolls over any obstacle in his way, including me, on his journey from one end of the couch to the other. If you want to hear a baby scream, pick him up when he is crawling towards the TV and turn him in another direction. Did I say TV? I meant the dog dish, the coat rack, the dinning room chairs, the dog crate, the hutch, the stairs. The blockades and gates have been brought in and now our living room looks like East Berlin during the cold war. We put the dog as the guard at Checkpoint Charlie, but she is lax in her duty. The price of having a baby, not unlike freedom, is eternal vigilance.
High Noon
Posted by Proud Dad in Baby on Board on March 8, 2010
One of the side effects of having a baby, and this should come as no surprise to anyone, is that you wake up early. Very early. Waking up early comes with its own set of side effects. For me, perhaps the 
hardest of these is that I know get hungry a lot earlier in the day. Does anyone want to guess what happens when I eat lunch at 11:30 or noon? That’s right, I want to eat another lunch around four. You don’t even have to guess what all this has done to my belly. Like the baby, it’s only growing in one direction. Yet another side effect that is damaging my health results from my eating at a pace that would make a NASCAR team proud. If the little guy takes his nap around noon I’m all set, it’s like eating at Tavern on the Green with my sandwich morphing into one of Mario Batali’s specialties. However, if LTD doesn’t feel like sleeping and my stomach growls, I am left with no choice. Not only do I eat wicked fast, but I usually make poor food decisions. Trust me, you don’t want to know about my fruit roll up casserole. The moral of the story is that I need to drink a lot more water and pray he sleeps at noon.
Book Review – Little Lion
Posted by Proud Dad in Book Review on March 5, 2010
There are certain items in your home you grab when the baby is having a meltdown. These are the arrows in your quiver that you know usually calm the kid down. One such item for The Mommy and me is Little Lion, a Finger Puppet Book. This small board book features a finger puppet lion that sticks out through as you turn the pages. For some reason this book cracks up LTD and really holds his attention. The story, like many at this level, is simple but pleasant. The little lion is alone and while he may be king he still needs friends. Of course, the different jungle animals join him so he doesn’t need to abdicate the throne and wander the plains as a nomad. Now that LTD is almost a year old, there is a hidden danger in using the finger puppet book. Lion may be king of the jungle, but LTD is the shark of our house and he occasionally likes to bite the lion. The lion doesn’t seem to mind, but my finger takes exception.
Baby in Front, Toddler in the Back
Posted by Proud Dad in Baby on Board on March 4, 2010
LTD had some hair on his dome when he was born and almost one year later it has never fallen out (Unlike his father). Like every other part of the little guy his hair keeps growing. However, something strange 
has happened to his golden locks now that it’s getting longer. Instead of featuring the party in back, business in front mullet, the little guy looks like a baby in front and a toddler in back due to the fact that the back of his head sports curls. We are talking about having the head of two different babies. This dual hair nature might explain why LTD sometimes behaves like an angel and other times not so much. No matter what the cause of this phenomenon it will be interesting to see how the whole hairstyle thing pans out in the future. Now might be a good time to stock up on hats.
Product Review – Pull Along Cowboy by Sevi
Posted by Proud Dad in Product Review on March 3, 2010
Sevi was founded in Italy in 1831 and that is why their pull toys for one-year olds, look like they should be in a museum. The Mommy put the Pull Along Cowboy on the floor so that LTD could enjoy it and I found myself saying to her, what are you doing? He is going to wreck it. The whole concept behind toys is for kids (and adults) to play with them, it literally is their reason for existing and when you have such a well made and beautiful toy there is a danger that you can’t really use it as intended for fear of breaking it. Another danger lies with the baby not ‘appreciating’ the toy properly, which I know sounds insane, but when you see him treat the Cowboy the same way he treats the stacking cups you want to tell him to stop. I know he is a baby but he should be able to tell the difference between simple blocks and a hand painted cowboy with a felt hat. I guess all of this is a lengthy way of saying that I’m taking all this toy stuff too seriously and need to focus on other areas; areas where unlike most things having to do with the baby I have at least one percent control. I’ll let you know when I find one of those areas.
Decoy Spoon
Posted by Proud Dad in Baby on Board on March 2, 2010
Mealtimes with LTD have always been a voyage into the unknown. We never know where the food will end up or how much the dog will eat. Now a new challenge has presented itself during chow time. LTD wants to feed himself with the spoon. How do we know he wants to feed himself? He grabs the spoon as it comes near his mouth. Can anyone guess what happens to pears and oatmeal after a baby, with all the grace of a rhinoceros with a meth problem, grabs the spoon? However, The Mommy and I have come up with a simple solution. We call it the decoy spoon. By giving the little guy the decoy spoon he distracts himself long enough that we can get most of the food in or near his mouth. Of course in the nothing is ever easy category, he usually drops the decoy spoon on the floor after the first bite because he thinks it’s funny.
Doc, I Got A Problem, My Feet Smell and My Nose Runs
Posted by Proud Dad in Baby on Board on March 1, 2010
We are deep into the winter months and as the storms grow fiercer so does LTD’s nasal congestion. Yes, I speak of the dreaded runny nose. Since Beyond the Car Seat is a family publication, I will refrain from using the
words, snot or booger and instead go with the correct medical term of mucous. When I speak of the runny nose I am referring to only half of the problem. There are times when the little guy’s nose isn’t runny, but standing still. If you want to hear a baby scream try wiping his nose when it has dried mucous in it. The more I write about this the more I think it is gross, so I will just finish with this. The Mommy and I have to tag team LTD in order to use the saline drops on him because the combination of his hands flying everywhere and his head whipping back and forth make it a two-person job. I mean we are trying to help him clear his nasal passages and he acts like we’re water boarding him.
Book Review – Are You My Mother
Posted by Proud Dad in Book Review on February 26, 2010
P.D. Eastman’s 1960 classic tale of love lost and found, Are You My Mother is a simple story, but one with a lot of heart. A little bird is about to hatch and so his mother flies off in search of food and by food I mean a worm (gross), but before she returns the baby bird arrives and goes in search of her. He asks different animals if they, as the title suggests, are his mother, but of course none of the animals are. Don’t worry folks I think we all know how the story turns out and love does indeed conquer all. What makes Are You My Mother in awesome book has to do with one little scene. During the baby bird’s quest he happens not on another animal but a huge piece of construction equipment. He first asks the machine if it is his mother, but he quickly figures out that it couldn’t be his mother. In fact, he says the best line in all of children’s literature. “You are not my mother, you are a scary snort.” Priceless.
Hey Jerk, Pick That Up
Posted by Proud Dad in Baby on Board on February 25, 2010
During the last few weeks LTD has decided it would be fun for him to treat me like a jerk, which I guess I am since I play along. Whenever we are at the table, either at home or out, anything in his hands sails to the ground quickly resulting in my bending over to pick it up and him laughing. I always new that babies play these games, but I was not prepared for just how brutal it can become. I think the real frustration comes from the fact that both he and I know I will pick it up whatever he drops like some sort of daddy version of Sisyphus. The only ray of hope I have is that I put a limit on how many times I will be his helper monkey and it is never more than 10. Thankfully, when I eventually stop playing his torturous game, he doesn’t get upset. Tune in soon for LTD’s adventures as he moves past dropping into throwing.