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Are You Telling Me Pretty People Don’t Pay?

LTD has begun a pretty new, awesome and exciting phase. A phase in which, randomly and with warning, he will flip out in his stroller or car seat in protest at being confined. This occasional behavior manifests itself when trying to put him in his car seat or after he has been in the stroller for a while. In dealing with the car seat drama The Mommy and I rely on a steady diet of distraction and patience. The good news about him yelling in the car is that when you are trying to put him in the seat and he screams, his mouth is usually right next to your year. Why is this good news? Because it makes your ears ring and your head hurt in such a way that when it finally stops you are happy to be alive and experience a calm spiritual moment of gratitude to the universe that the worst is over.

Flipping out in the stroller comes with its own set of challenges due to the fact that if he is in the stroller it means he is out among the public. Again, distraction works here, but sometimes you just have to move on which can be tricky if you are looking at or buying something. Last week, The Mommy and I decided to pick up dessert for an impromptu petite soiree we were having. We close to a Crumbs and so we duck in to get some cupcakes. The huge number of cupcake choices made the decision hard and we were in the store for longer than LTD would have liked. Just as I was finishing up, he let it be known to all that he was unhappy. He didn’t just scream, he also tried to break free from his stroller bonds. I quickly ran back to the counter and asked if they had a small plain cookie. The clerk said they had a small one with chocolate in the middle to which I said great and reached for my wallet. She said, don’t worry about it and gave the small cookie for free. Not only did the cookie silence the little guy it became proof of a universal truth in life. When pretty people pitch a fit they get whatever they want and for free.

Such a Good Baby

tantrumIt happens mostly while we are in the checkout line of the supermarket. The comment usually comes from an older lady. She will say to me on behalf of LTD, “Wow, such a good baby.” What is the little guy doing to warrant such a favorable rating? Nothing. He just sits in his carrier in the cart staring around. So my question is this, what are other babies doing that is so horrific that when a baby does nothing special he is labeled good? I guess deep down I know why, they are flipping out while having a level 5 meltdown in public. But, every time someone tells me that LTD is such a good boy, when all he is doing is existing, it makes me think that some people imagine that babies throw tantrums every second of the day. It really seems like in their minds, all babies only cry always and whenever they see one in public and he isn’t crying they are truly shocked and amazed. Well, I’m here to tell you that if babies cried 24 hours a day, people would not have babies ever and we as a species would be extinct. So my message to all the ‘such a good baby’ people is to simply say, “such a cute baby” or better still “can I offer to help pay for college?”

I Laughed So Hard I Cried

happysad2LTD is not prone to tantrums and for the most part he plays things close to the vest. Occasionally though, he has bouts of insanely loud crying followed immediately by slightly less insanely loud laughing. He experiences what doctors at the nervous hospital call a mixed episode (that is if you take out all the scary words like bipolar, manic and depression in order to twist the meaning to apply to a situation in which a baby cries than quickly laughs). He does this sometimes when he is put on the changing table and for some reason starts to sharply cry, if you blow raspberries on his belly he then stops mid-cry and starts to laugh. Normally, it would be a little freaky and I would tell him to make up his mind already, but since he goes from crying to laughing or bad to good, I let it play out without too much thought as to why.

Why am I Yelling?

signSo here’s a new one. Lately, LTD has begun to yell, scream and squeal at an incredibly loud and high pitch. Why is doing this, surely he must be in distress? No, he has taken to screaming because he enjoys it. I know this because when I look him in the eye while he is yelling and tell him to shhhh, he smiles and sometimes laughs mockingly. I would tell him to put a sock in it, but he already does as he has also taken to pulling off his socks and trying to swallow them. In fact, as I am writing this he is screaming his high pitched squeal, ‘yeeeeeeeeee.’ The Mommy and I have come to the conclusion that he is either experimenting and exercising his lungs or he loves the high pitched noises and doesn’t know that he is making them. No matter what the reason we can only hope that he grows out of this phase and soon.

The Whole Tooth and Nothing but the Tooth

This past Labor Day we went to visit The Mommy’s family, who live outside Buffalo, NY. The car ride only took 10 hours but with a dog and a baby in the small car it was a rare treat to really spend time with everyone. The trip was fun and relaxing as I turned the baby over to the grandparents so I could sleep. However, on Sunday, we drove around Buffalo and as we were passing the spot where on September 14, 1901 President William McKinley was shot by Leon Czolgosz the baby had a level 5 meltdown. We couldn’t figure it why he was flipping out, but as we stopped near the house were Theodore Roosevelt took the oath of office we discovered something else being inaugurated, a tooth.

The little sharp triangle edge of LTD’s bottom front tooth poked out just enough to cause the little guy a pretty good amount of pain and our ears a pretty good amount of ringing. The tooth barely sticks out but just enough to feel like LTD is turning into a shark when I put my finger across his gums. I keep expecting him to sing the theme from Jaws, but instead I just get coos and ahhs. We dipped the pacifier and his burp cloth in some ice water and after sucking on both for a while he was comforted. In the end, all I can say is that if teething hurt the entire time none of us would ever survive. Time to sign LTD up for a good dental plan.

Good News, He’s Asleep Now Try and Put Him Down

There is an old saying, when the gods want to punish you they grant your wishes. With that maxim in mind, LTD has started a fun new trick. When we put him down for the night in his crib, he will fall asleep, but after a bit he wakes up. So we pick him up and rock him back to sleep, no problem. Problem, when we put him down again, he instantly wakes up in order to let us know that he is not happy. Not even a little bit. This pattern continues as the clock clicks off precious daddy and mommy late night sleep minutes. I really don’t know what started this new behavior, but it doesn’t happen every night and usually doesn’t last all that long. One of the joys of being a parent comes in watching your baby achieve new development milestones and one of the hard parts of being a new parent comes when you try to read the mind of a four month old. A four month old who once tried to put an entire burp cloth in his mouth. The truly difficult thing is dealing with new patterns that don’t make any sense. When he is asleep and his pacifier pops out and he cries, that at least makes sense, this needing to be rocked stuff feels really out of the blue. I guess in the end, we all just want to be held.