So LTD’s hair was getting a little a out of control and I had begged The Mommy to cut it. She wanted to wait with her thinking being, after the first haircut he wouldn’t be a baby anymore. I could see the logic in this and also wasn’t gonna win a fight about it anyway, so I backed off from coiffure action plan. However as the weeks passed LTD’s hair began looking a little like something from that infamous Nick Nolte mug shot. The Mommy conceded that the time was right to give the little guy a small trim. After she consulted her crew and the World Wide Web, The Mommy instructed me to pick up some simple hair-cutting scissors and a bowl (just kidding).
The night of the operation, our friend Nikki came over to take pictures and provide moral support so The Mommy’s hands wouldn’t shake. After dinner, with the little guy belly full and still trapped in his high chair I distracted him while The Mommy began her audition for a job at SuperCuts. She lightly wetted his hair and then employed a trick she learned online, she took a chunk of his hair twisted it and then cut the ends with the goal of preventing an uneven look. She left the back alone, but don’t worry folks we are a few months away from mullet territory. The whole thing didn’t take very long and LTD exhibited good behavioral control during his de-Samsoning. The end result looked good with LTD looking like a proper young gentlemen. We saved his hair for the baby book and were psyched we didn’t spend a ton of money on taking him to one of those kid hair cut places. However, now his hair has almost grown back and it might soon be time for another trim. We’re thinking of installing a barber pole at the front entrance.
LTD had some hair on his dome when he was born and almost one year later it has never fallen out (Unlike his father). Like every other part of the little guy his hair keeps growing. However, something strange has happened to his golden locks now that it’s getting longer. Instead of featuring the party in back, business in front mullet, the little guy looks like a baby in front and a toddler in back due to the fact that the back of his head sports curls. We are talking about having the head of two different babies. This dual hair nature might explain why LTD sometimes behaves like an angel and other times not so much. No matter what the cause of this phenomenon it will be interesting to see how the whole hairstyle thing pans out in the future. Now might be a good time to stock up on hats.
I wrote a few months ago that LTD was losing his hair, just like his old man. Our doctor told us that babies will either lose their hair and be bald for a few months, they would lose their hair and the new hair would follow so quickly you couldn’t even tell, or they would never lose their birth hair. At the time, I truly thought he was going Telly Savalas and have great shame about not being able to get a date. Well, it seems he was scared straight because the nightmare scenario never came true and after the initial thinning his hair not only never fell out, but continues to grow like crazy. By crazy I mean that it is all over the place, some strands are so long that the ends are getting wavy. Some strands have bunched up to make a group of super hair in the front. However, the real gestalt is that from certain angles the little guy looks like he has a faux hawk. It would seem that LTD at the ripe old age of six months has deceived to become a hipster. And the son becomes the father.
We have already discussed the pooping and peeing on himself as one of the main reasons that LTD can’t get a date; now, thanks again to Mother Nature, we have one more; I give you Baby Pattern Baldness. Like his old man it seems LTD is not immune to the curse of hair loss. However, in his case I can only hope that his locks grow back or they invent baby Rogaine. Our pediatrician explained that basically three things could happen to newborn hair. Some babies will completely lose their hair and be bald for a spell until it grows back. Some babies lose their hair, but their new hair is right there to take its place so you never really notice the loss. And some babies never lose their birth hair or didn’t have any to begin with. In LTD’s case he is definitely losing it and it doesn’t look like the new hair has signed up yet, so I fear we are looking at a cue ball situation soon. The big question still remains, what color will his hair be?
Because I won the genetic lottery I suffer from a condition called Robin Williams Syndrome. This situation results in my having a not insignificant amount of chest, leg and arm hair. I don’t think about it much, and if we want to be able to afford college for LTD, laser removal isn’t in my future. However, the hair has caused a problem to develop recently. LTD has entered the phase of development in which he no longer thrusts his hands out in fists, instead he reaches out and grabs stuff. My point, even if it is a baby doing the pulling, ripping out chest hair hurts.