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Tag, You’re It

laundry-tagsSo I am super glad that I spend all my time and energy, not to mention money, on trying to find LTD awesome and cool toys to play with. Why am I glad? Because he could care less, all he seems to care about are their tags. I mean he really goes nuts for them. Not only does he suck on them, he really stares and studies them for long periods. Hopefully, that means he can start doing the laundry soon. I guess The Mommy should make him a tag blanket, but I’m sure it would be just our luck that he won’t want it because he could sense we were trying to put one over on him. Sometimes I wonder if it is safe to suck so much on the tags, wouldn’t it be ironic if the companies took all this care to make their products child safe and environmentally friendly, but the laundry tags were harmful. Lets hope not.

Oral Exam

toeI have written often about LTD’s strong desire to put everything that exists on the planet Earth in his mouth. It’s no secret that he explores his world through his mouth but things have gotten ridiculous. Today he folded himself in half in order to put his big toe in his gaping maw. I am happy to report he was successful, but since it may have had a dog hair on it from the floor I am also not happy to report it. Another thing he does that cracks me up is that he will reach for something, my finger for instance, and even if he doesn’t actually grab it he will bring his hands to his mouth. It is cute and perhaps a little sad that the little guy thinks he is holding something but in reality he missed. I call this the Phantom Mouth Maneuver (patent pending).

I would also be remiss if I didn’t mention that he is starting to not only put things in his mouth but to put things out as well. In this case, the “thing” being his tongue. I don’t want to tell tales out of school, but that puppy is long. I’m talking Gene Simmons territory. Additionally, he has slowly started a practice of licking things, mostly my arm. So between the toes and the tongue, The Mommy and I have been busy keeping things dry and keeping things out of reach.

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No, That’s the Upstairs Pacifier

paciyLTD has taken to the pacifier like a fish to water. The good news is that it doesn’t feel like he is addicted to them and in need of baby rehab. The bad news is that we keep losing them. The pacifiers, whose numbers have grown, end up everywhere. We have found them under the couch, in the car, the floor of stores and, of course, on the dirty sidewalk. The pediatrician told us to wash them off in the sink and not our mouths as it turns out our mouths ain’t so clean. Also, you need to sterilize them in hot water when they first come out of the package.

The pacifier also presents two challenges. The first being not to laugh when LTD yanks it out and it makes a popping noise like he is a baby bottle of champagne. The second being when he is sucking on it, falls asleep, it falls out and he wakes up crying. I guess when you write them down the first one isn’t really a challenge. As for the second issue, the doc told us not to put it back in if he falls asleep and it falls out, but if he’s crying, you got to put the genie back in the bottle. In a few months we get to start to wean him off of the pacifier. I’m gearing up for a ‘we can do this the easy way or the hard way’ conversations.

I Don’t Know What it is, But it Must Go in My Mouth

I have invented a cool new game called, lets list the things now covered in baby drool. Whoever can list ten pieces of clothing or body parts soaked in infant slobber the fastest wins. So far I am the undefeated champ. As you may have guessed, LTD has begun the teething process and slowly but surely many items have begun the fateful journey to his drenched little orifice. By far the most popular items are his fingers. Thankfully he hasn’t found his thumb yet, but right now his tiny digits are working over time. There is something particularly gross about having wet baby fingers dragged across your face on their way to your shirt. However, I am thankful he uses his fingers because when he grabs one of mine and shoves it in his jaws, it really hurts. Thanks to his powerful sucking ability, he is able to trap my finger in place while he crushes down with his teething baby gums. The only good news is that since he is in such an early stage of the teething process, he hasn’t been in any real pain yet and it appears that his desire to put everything in his mouth is still at the curiosity instinct level. Still, everything near him is covered with drool. I feel like Ghostbusters’ Dr. Peter Venkman because I keep saying, “He slimed me.” The Mommy and I can’t wait until he starts crawling, who knows what new, interesting and grimy things he will start putting in his mouth then. Until he is mobile I will continue to wear my foul weather gear.