There are certain truths in life that are rock solid. At some point on your child’s journey from birth to college, you will have to change their diaper in the car. It’s not something you are particularly happy about, but it’s the cost of doing business, dirty business. But you say wait, in this day and age surely you don’t have to change a baby in the car? My answer to that thought is another question, have you ever been inside a gas station bathroom?
However, the Dipe N’ Go takes into account the unpleasant car diaper change and helps make the exchange as easy as possible. The changing mat is designed for minivans, wagons and SUVs. The mat attaches to the inside of the back hatch and turns the trunk of your wagon into a changing station just like at home (that is if your home changing table has a spare tire on it). The mat can go in a washing machine and has secret pockets to hold diapers, wipes and nose plugs. A mat is important if you care at all about keeping your car poo free since the car is where fidgeting was invented.
As many of you know, LTD has taken a distinct dislike to lying still on the changing table. The problem is bad enough at home, but out of the house it has become down right uncool. It’s like he is trying out for the lead role of a fish out of water in a play about a fish out of water. However, we have discovered a weapon in our fight against the flip and the flop, the Patemm Pad. The pad is large and round, so when the kid decides to do the hustle while you are changing him he stays on the pad instead of getting poo on your best friends carpet. At the end of the day, it’s just easier to change the little guy on the floor and the Pad provides an excellent space to do just that.
The Patemm Pad also comes with inner pockets in order to store diapers and other changing accoutrements. Of course another feature that is a must when dealing with baby stuff is that the Pad folds up into itself to form a nice little package. The Pad also feels more durable than other changing pads and creates the illusion have stepped into another world, a world where babies aren’t in charge if even for a moment.
So I’m in the store, wandering the aisles as I do since it’s the only thing open at 8am, and out of the corner of my eye I spy a stand up display for HUGGIES diapers JEANS limited edition. We are talking about disposable diapers with a denim print on them instead of white. They are designed to look like jeans with pockets and stitching. However, because they are diapers they only scream one look, Daisy Duke. I’m all for creativity and trying something new, but I think the powers that be can come up with something a little more baby appropriate than jean shorts. I will admit that I was tempted to get them for LTD if only to take a really nice picture of him in them to show the world when he is at his Supreme Court nomination hearing. Hey, don’t judge me he should have wrecked the car 16 years from now.
Loyal readers of Beyond the Car Seat have long known that we use Bum Genius cloth diapers on LTD’s bottom. Well, I think it’s about time for a follow up piece. We have been using the diapers for over a year now and they have held up pretty well. Only one diaper and one insert began to fray or lose stretchiness. The company has a very clear policy with easy steps to follow in order to return and get free replacements. The washing hasn’t been too big a deal and I am now a true expert at assembling them relatively quickly. I sit in his room and put them together while he takes them out of the basket and flings them everywhere. He also tries to eat them which is great ammo for when he is a teenager. When he brings a date home I can tell her that he used to eat his diapers.
Perhaps the smartest step The Mommy and I have taken in using the cloth diapers is to use an insert. Right now we are using Bambinomio Liners and they are wicked wide and capture most of the poo. Of course some days he just wrecks the things and I have to hose it off into the toilet. That’s right folks the fun never stops here at Casa de LTD. At the end of the day, we have saved money by not using disposable diapers and we help The Mommy Earth in the process.
Last week, LTD had a particularly severe case of diaper rash. He usually doesn’t get diaper rash that much so this was especially troubling. The Mommy researched good treatments and discovered that Zinc Oxide is a great way to deal with wicked bad diaper rash. We turned to Burt’s Bees Diaper Ointment and with its help along with The Mommy’s hard work the rash went bye-bye. The only problem was that because the ointment has Zinc in it and is very hard-core it looks like and goes on like Marshmallow Fluff. I would also mention that once The Mommy used baby powder LTD’s bottom looked like something from the bakery on Ace of Cakes. So a word of caution then regarding the use of the ointment, be careful especially if you are using cloth diapers or wearing clothes.
Anyone who has ever worked in a large office knows what happens around 10am after everyone has had their morning coffee. For those fortunate souls who have never had the pleasure of working in a big office just imagine what happens in the bathroom after 25 accounts and file clerks finish their sunrise Starbucks. LTD isn’t addicted to coffee yet, but every morning like clockwork his plumbing kicks in after breakfast. Normally, who cares, the kid goes poo all the time, but the morning poo is cruel because I have just changed his sleep diaper less than 15 minutes ago. Another problem is that if he somehow manages to hold it for 30 minutes post-breakfast we are in the car running errands and lets face it, four closed windows and poo smell don’t mix.
Being a parent is a lot like being a spy. I’m talking real Jason Bourne type stuff. When he walks in a room he scopes out all the potential threats and exits. When I walk into a room I scope out all the possible places to change a diaper. Also like any good spy I need the best high tech equipment and when it comes to restroom-changing tables some make me feel like James Bond while others leave me feeling like Maxwell Smart. Why should it matter you ask, well for one thing a lot of public restrooms suffer from an extreme lack of quality and so the better the changing table the less gross I feel spending time amongst the filth. Recently, I have had great luck finding some pretty hardcore stations.
The Cadillac of stations is the Diaper Deck. The Deck features a paper towel holder and a deep concave bed. I actually feel safe using it. Another nice station is Rubbermaid’s Sturdy Station 2. The Sturdy Station also has a deep bed and feels safe. In a perfect world you are suppose to use the straps, but I doubt many people do, since using a strap that lives in a public restroom buries the needle on the gross scale. In terms of not great restroom changing stations I think the Koala Kare tables have a shallow bed and truly don’t feel safe. Lastly, whatever you do, don’t get me started on the fact that some store and restaurant restrooms only put a changing table in the ladies room. Those storeowners are lucky that I don’t know Krav Maga like Jason Bourne.
For the past month, in addition to the sustenance The Mommy provides, LTD has been eating three solid meals a day. We are talking about mashed up versions of everyday favorites like pears, avocado, peas and cereal. Their are many benefits to eating fruits and vegetables, but one we never thought about would be what happens when LTD is done eating them. That’s right, I’m talking about waste or as the immature among you call poo. Before when he was exclusively on milk it was common for him to go number two once every 7-10 days, that cycle is way gone. Thanks to the new fuel supply and the binding agent known as a banana, LTD has been using his butt as a Play-dough fun factory.
Once every one to two days, the little guy produces a perfectly formed golf ball sized poo that is so easy to clean up it’s almost a joy. Unlike the milk-only mess, a diaper change now takes mere seconds, which works well considering squirmy mcsquirmison doesn’t sit still on the changing table anymore. The new poo situation also has the added value of occasionally being wicked funny as it is in the case of the little butt cheek imprints he sometimes leaves on the diaper flattened poo. Also, let’s not forget the face he makes when he is creating one of his masterpieces and the accompanying grunts that make us feel like we should be giving him privacy.
LTD was eating rice cereal for only a week when The Mommy decided it was time to turn him into The Hulk by dropping the gamma bomb. The green monster in this case was our friend the avocado. The Mommy read that the guacamole maker was a good safe vegetable to start him on and one of the only foods you don’t need to cook in order to serve to a baby. She was right, he likes it. And that is the problem. Do you have any idea what avocado poop looks and smells like? Well, I do. It is grim. It is voluminous. It is green and it is wicked stinky.
I should also note what an avocado looks like when you mash it up and when it goes in and around a baby’s mouth. If you will allow me to paint a picture, it looks like the baby just ate Kermit the frog. I’ve seen a lot of things since I became a parent; things I can’t un-see, but the baby’s face covered in green slime combined with the smell from his home made guacamole has secured the top spot on the “I’m grossed out” list. But he likes them and who can say no to a baby?
Capitalism being what it is, companies have started to market a great number of baby products to men. They assume we can’t handle things with ducks and bunnies on them, so they make bags and shirts with slogans like ‘rebel dad’ in all black. For the most part, I don’t care what the baby product looks, that being said, I guess since LTD is a boy, I don’t really have any pink Barbie inspired bags and blankets. However, one product that straddles the line between baby product and okay for a man to be seen with in public is Columbia’s Trekster Diaper Bag. In fact, to the untrained eye it looks like a regular backpack. So much so that sometimes I feel like a spy trained to covertly enter a building and change a diaper without anyone seeing me.
The Trekster comes with a whole bunch of cool pockets and by cool, I mean a foil lined pocket to keep a bottle chill. The bag also features a generous sized foldout changing pad with plastic supply bags attached. The truth is I actually prefer the backpack style to the over the shoulder diaper bag. When you have a baby you tend to over pack and the diaper bag gets heavy fast. Between the bags and carseat I lift way more than I like too and it starts to feel like exercise.