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Ready to Launch

rocket_launchBB spends his days watching LTD and in the process must feel like he wants to run with the big boys. Why do I say such things? Because even though BB is only 7 months old and can only army crawl he is trying to stand up and walk. Of course he is trying both at the same time and not using anything to hold on to, which has the effect of launching him forward and landing on his face. Lately, he has started to figure out that he may need to hold something when trying to stand up. I’m sure he thought this might make things easier for him but now instead of launching straight up and falling on his face, he now slides his face down the side of whatever structure he is using as his legs go out from under him. The moral of this story is that he is getting and going to get way more bumps and bruises then LTD ever did.

The Toad

It seems like every day LTD adds something new to his growing list of behaviors. Some are good and some are bad, but a few are just plain weird. I give you, licking. In the past, the little guy has opened his gaping maw wide and leaned in for a bite, but recently he has moved from the bite to the lick. He still comes in mouth open wicked huge and then sticks his tongue out to either make contact or actively engage in a full top to bottom lick. The whole thing is completely bizarre and the act has no rhyme or reason. So far I have gotten off pretty easy, as he has only licked my hand when I go to stop him from putting his mouth on things like the always-tasty coffee table. At the end of the day The Mommy and treat this new talent the way we do many other new LTDisms which is to laugh and be thankful he only doesn’t do it all the time.

The Lizard People

velociraptorThe Official winter season is soon upon us and the combination of the cold air outside and the hot air inside is doing a number on LTD’s fair skin. Thanks to The Mommy’s Scandinavian heritage, the little guy has the skin of a blonde haired blue eyed Swedish architect. His dry skin has led to a rash, which is basically Eczema. In some patches it’s pretty rough, but in others it just looks dry and red, thankfully it’s only on his torso and back. The doctor gave us some very helpful advice. She told us to use only cotton clothes on the lads skin and that we should limit the frequency of his bathes.

In terms of treatment, the doctor told us to coat him in Vaseline or Aquaphor and leave it on to air dry for five minutes. We started using Aquaphor because it is a little less greasy than Vaseline. When the time is up, we coat him in a layer of baby lotion, our choice is calendula cream by California Baby. She told us that we could use hydrocortisone on the really rough patches, but never on his face because it could lighten his skin and that would be very uncool. Lastly, she mentioned that if it stayed that bad for the next four or five days we should see her again to get a stronger and possibly prescription lotion, ointment or salve. Of course, thanks to The Mommy’s hard work providing the spa treatments, his skin mostly cleared up and I think we shall all survive the harsh winter ahead.

Such a Good Baby

tantrumIt happens mostly while we are in the checkout line of the supermarket. The comment usually comes from an older lady. She will say to me on behalf of LTD, “Wow, such a good baby.” What is the little guy doing to warrant such a favorable rating? Nothing. He just sits in his carrier in the cart staring around. So my question is this, what are other babies doing that is so horrific that when a baby does nothing special he is labeled good? I guess deep down I know why, they are flipping out while having a level 5 meltdown in public. But, every time someone tells me that LTD is such a good boy, when all he is doing is existing, it makes me think that some people imagine that babies throw tantrums every second of the day. It really seems like in their minds, all babies only cry always and whenever they see one in public and he isn’t crying they are truly shocked and amazed. Well, I’m here to tell you that if babies cried 24 hours a day, people would not have babies ever and we as a species would be extinct. So my message to all the ‘such a good baby’ people is to simply say, “such a cute baby” or better still “can I offer to help pay for college?”

Little Caesar

egrobinEver since LTD started talking and by talking I mean babbling and mostly saying, baba, he has been making the funniest face when he tries to speak. He tucks in his chin and flattens his lips and cheeks bugrockwhen he says, ‘baba, ya ya.’ The thing is, he looks exactly like classic movie actor Edward G. Robinson when he talks. He also sounds a little bit like him, which is a weird impression since we have never let LTD watch a 30’s gangster film. This performance is particularly amusing as LTD occasionally will go on a talking jag for up to a half an hour. In between babas and ayeahs he also tends to blow raspberries with his lips a practice I don’t believe the late Robinson is known for. So we’ll call it an impression with a twist. The little guy is turning into quite the performance artist. Here’s hoping we get an NEA grant.

Can I Have My Lip Back?

The development gods have smiled on LTD and blessed him with a natural curiosity, which in turn he uses to explore his ever-expanding worldview. One of the ways he has learned to discover his environment is by reaching out with his little grasping hands to pull things into his pie hole/laboratory. We are now at the removing all choking hazards stage from the house, a process that isn’t easy. In addition to removing objects that may pose a risk to the baby, something new has cropped up that actually poses a risk to me. When you go in close with your face to make LTD smile he reaches out with his claws and grabs you. I’m not saying he’s Hercules, but when he latches on to your lips or nose it sort of hurts. As I have previously mentioned if his nails haven’t been cut that day, they tear into my flesh. Additionally, it doesn’t have to be my face, he grabs my arm when I’m carrying him and had yet to release me from his death grip without taking a few arm hairs as trophies. LTD has taught me that sometimes the price of love is paid for with little tiny hand imprints on my face.

claw

Yet Another Reason He is Single

baldWe have already discussed the pooping and peeing on himself as one of the main reasons that LTD can’t get a date; now, thanks again to Mother Nature, we have one more; I give you Baby Pattern Baldness. Like his old man it seems LTD is not immune to the curse of hair loss. However, in his case I can only hope that his locks grow back or they invent baby Rogaine. Our pediatrician explained that basically three things could happen to newborn hair. Some babies will completely lose their hair and be bald for a spell until it grows back. Some babies lose their hair, but their new hair is right there to take its place so you never really notice the loss. And some babies never lose their birth hair or didn’t have any to begin with. In LTD’s case he is definitely losing it and it doesn’t look like the new hair has signed up yet, so I fear we are looking at a cue ball situation soon. The big question still remains, what color will his hair be?

Close Your Trap Before a Bear Walks In

Name one thing funnier than a baby yawning, go ahead, try it. First, a special thanks to Mother Nature for making babies have huge heads and tiny bodies. LTD looks like an orange on top of a toothpick. During the full faced yawn, his head swings back and forth on that skinny little neck causing The Mommy and I to laugh. Every time. He yawns a lot and one would think that over time it wouldn’t still be funny, and I will concede his basic yawn isn’t really all that special, but when he does what seems like a full body yawn it is always hysterical. I guess part of the humor stems from the fact that most people cover their mouths when they yawn so one rarely sees a big gaping maw during a full yawn. However, due to his young age LTD will be forgiven for his lack of manners.