Last night The Mommy and I went to find some pajamas for the boy to wear and whenever we do that I always encourage her to put him in the awesome superhero pjs. She said, I don’t think you are going to like how this is about to go. She reluctantly put the little guy into the sweet superhero pjs and they so didn’t fit at all. I know what you’re thinking, what’s my point? My point is I can remember that it seemed like just the other day that the awesome superhero pajamas were way too big for him. LTD has become like one of those toys you put in water and watch grow 50 times in seconds. It is crazy to me that I can literally watch him grow before my very own eyes. In a way I feel like a magician or gardener. I guess the reason I’m going on like this is because he was really swimming in those pajamas and now the thought that they are too tight blows my mind. However, all is now clear, my only course of action is to stop feeding him.
A new item has been added to mine and LTD’s daily routine. At least once a day a kind stranger stops me and says the following, “Do you know he is missing a shoe.” And every day I say the following in response, “Yes, thank you, it’s in the car. He takes them off.” And then the kind stranger concludes with a knowing look and says, “Been there.” However, this morning the routine has been drastically upended. I was about to drop the little guy off in the gym’s daycare area when a kind woman caught up to me and held out her hand to give me one of LTD’s shoes. It seems I committed the ultimate sin I left a man behind. We were just lucky he didn’t drop it outside as it rained wicked hard a few minutes later. Well lesson learned, I will either buy a big supply of super glue or pay better attention.
Changing LTD’s diaper was never fun, but for the most part it was relatively quick and painless. Well, the worm has turned. Ignoring the new smells his eating solids has created, he has decided on a course of action if you will. A mission statement regarding how he is going live his life. LTD has determined that he no longer wants to remain still. His new mantra being, give me squirmy or give me a bottle. The little guy flips and flops on the changing table that like Frankenstein we now have to strap him down. The straps prevent him from flipping, but not kicking. The diaper station looks like a wrecking ball has hit it when we are done changing him. It’s bad enough I have to almost touch poo on a daily basis, but to get kicked in the head for my troubles seems unfair.
LTD’s antics are not confined to just the changing table, he loves to wriggle and squirm during dressing and when we put him in the car seat. Dressing isn’t so bad as he has sort of figured out how to put his arms through the sleeves for us, but the car seat is the real challenge. Sometimes he stands up in the thing using reverse psychology. He knows we will be looking for the squirm so he goes rigid. Very clever, until we figured out a counter move, distraction. The Mommy goes all silly and gets right up in his grill and he is left powerless as his laughter allows us to conform his body to the seat.
Unexpected gifts that turn out to be awesome are truly the best. LTD was brand new and factory fresh when we received the Johnny’s baby socks by Trumpette. We are talking about socks that look like High-Top tennis sneakers, but make no mistake they really are socks. The socks come in six bright colors, if you are, like The Mommy, into coordinating socks with baby outfits. The soles have the word Trumpette printed twice in rubber for traction. When we go out, I can’t tell you how many times people have commented on the socks and how cool they are, which is saying something because LTD is so cute that usually most folks don’t make it past his adorable face. The Johnny’s stay on his feet better than most of the other socks we have, that is unless little baby hands interfere. I assume they also taste good because when he does take them off they make their way to his mouth pretty darn fast.
Winter may not be officially upon us yet, but nobody told the weather that. It has been cold lately and I can no longer walk the dog in flip-flops, T-shirt and shorts. The drop in temperature also means the baby needs to be bundled up nice and tight. Our winter outfit of choice, the bear suit. We are talking about your basic snowsuit in brown fleece with a hood that features bear ears. How funny does LTD look wearing it? Very. Without fail every time we leave the house and he rocks the bear suit people stop and comment on it. However, there are some people that hate it, those people are of course die-hard Star Wars fans. It seems some feel that he looks like an Ewok in the suit and any real Star Wars fan knows that those little bastards ruined Jedi. The whole ordeal brings up one of my greatest fears. Someday when he is old enough I’m going to throw in Star Wars and we will be watching it for a few minutes when LTD turns to me and says, ‘Dad, this is stupid.’ Forcing me to, in return, say, ‘Son, you’re breaking my heart,’ and then in conclusion, LTD will finish the conversation by saying, ‘whatever.’ No matter what happens at least he will be warm.
The Mommy and I dig the store Buy Buy Baby for reasons that are deeply personal. We personally hate Babies R Us. After a few extremely negative experiences at Babies R Us we found the answers to our baby product supply problems by accident when we stormed out of a Babies R Us to see a Buy Buy Baby across the street. The first thing we were struck by when we entered the clean store was that the employees actually knew information about their products (shocking in this day and age). Not only did they have knowledge about the goods, they were also able to share expert opinions about which brands were popular and didn’t have a lot of returns. It’s crazy because when you are talking with an employee you feel as if they actually had training. The shopping experience is truly surreal, a store that I don’t mind being dragged by The Mommy to.
Perhaps the best thing about Buy Buy Baby is that since they have been bought by Bed, Bath & Beyond (no relation to Beyond the Car Seat) they accept those 20% off Bed, Bath, & Beyond coupons that arrive in the mail every other day. When you are buying a big-ticket item like a high chair or jumperoo, 20% is nothing to laugh at. The company also has plans to open more stores or build satellite stores inside existing Bed, Bath & Beyonds.
Once your baby is born you quickly learn what size clothing will fit him or her correctly. LTD was a fairly average sized baby, so he was able to wear age appropriate attire from day one. He moved from Newborn to 0-3 months and now he is rocking 3-6 months gear. Of course nothing is ever easy because it feels like all the companies that make baby clothes got together and held a secret meeting the outcome of which was an agreement that all their clothes actually be different sizes but all their labels would say the same size. If they didn’t have a meeting how does one explain the size differences between clothes that claim to be the same? For instance, we bought a shirt the other day that says it is for the 3-6 month age group, but it was the same size as the 9 month shirt I bought way early cause it had Batman on it. I understand that every clothing manufacture does things their own way and we don’t want to live in a soul crushing 1984-like world where all things are the same, but I think we can all agree that all size 6 months should be universally alike. I have enough on my plate without having to measure baby clothes.
We live in a world in which The Mommy can order baby socks on her cell phone, I can buy socks that have actual teddy bears on them, but nothing on Earth can make those socks stay on the baby’s feet. I’m not a rube; I knew it would happen, I just didn’t think it would happen so soon. LTD has started to take off his socks. In his defense, he doesn’t do it on purpose yet, but the outcome is still the same. I have to spend all day trying to find a missing sock. He either kicks his legs or squiggles his foot and his socks make their way south. I also feel like Sisyphus because no matter how many times I put them back on or pull them back up somehow the socks still end up on the floor. I have found no solution and I am not going to make him start wearing garters and even if I wanted him to wear them, it’s not like they make baby garters (for obvious reasons). Time for me to be zen when dealing with the socks and remember it can always be worse, he could be taking off his diaper.
It didn’t take me long to write, vote and pass a new household law: no baby clothes without snap fasteners allowed. Of course, like most laws of this nature it is difficult to enforce. My first choice would be that all baby garments would have zippers, but most of them don’t. I guess they are afraid that people would pinch the baby, which basically makes sense, so I will let it slide.
The Mommy and I have slightly different views on clothes for LTD. Her primary focus is on obtaining the highest cute factor possible, while my focus is on having him wear whatever allows me to change his diaper the fastest. The good news here is that most of his clothes have snaps. However, as he grows he is starting to wear outfits and pants. We are talking about full-blown ensembles with little t-shirts and pants wrapped up with overalls and matching socks. This all adds up to a diaper changing experience that not only lasts longer but increases the risk exponentially that poop will find its way on to the clothes.
New Dad Suggestion (NDS): When using snaps, start at the bottom or foot area and work your way up. This technique prevents the missed button phenomenon that is so common when getting shirts back from the dry cleaner.