Quiet Riot
Posted by Proud Dad in Baby on Board on August 12, 2010
I believe most people at one time or another have enjoyed the Quiet Riot hit song, Bang Your Head, however some more than others have taken the song’s message to heart. Somehow LTD found a copy of the album Metal Health and has used it as the inspiration for his latest pattern of behavior. That’s right true believers, he has started to hit his head against everything and anything. He does this when he is very frustrated and sometimes hits his noggin hard. He also does this when he is being silly and hits his melon less hard.
At first, it was all quite alarming, but now we just try and get him to stop. The Mommy ran the melon mashing by her peeps and they told her that it is fairly common in boys. One of the moms from the mom group shared that their doctor told them her son did it all the time and after he hit so hard he almost concussed himself, he learned it wasn’t such a good idea to do it anymore. Hopefully, it won’t take knocking himself out for LTD to learn to stop banging his head, but at the end of the day all we can do is try and stop him quickly and hope he grows out of it. I imagine it would be pretty embarrassing if he head butt’s his date at the Spring formal.
Product Review – Fangtastic Edition
Posted by Proud Dad in Product Review on August 11, 2010
The family has been enjoying the third season of True Blood so much that I thought it was time for LTD to get into the action by getting him the Billy-Bob Lil’ Vampire Pacifier. The Mommy put the kibosh on the idea as we are slowly beginning to phase out pacifiers. However, I think the fangs are worth mentioning if anyone out there in Beyond the Car Seat land has a baby who watches True Blood a lot. In conclusion I will just add that you don’t need a vampire pacifier to be scared by a baby. When you see all those little sharp Chiclits teeth coming at you, it can be truly terrifying. Time to get the garlic and Van Helsing. 
Hulk Smash
Posted by Proud Dad in Baby on Board on August 10, 2010
Another day another baby milestone. Unfortunately, LTD’s new favorite thing to do is loud, destructive and annoying. That’s right, folks, the little guy has taken to banging things on the
coffee table. It was bad enough when he tries to eat the coffee table, but now he is really testing the structural integrity of both the table and my ears. However, I can’t help but feel this is karmic pay back from my Hulk phase when I was a lad. I don’t want you to think he is obsessed with just the table; he also bangs things on the floor, the cabinets and my head.
The amazing thing about the little caveman’s smashing fetish is that he hasn’t actually smashed anything. I chalk this up to the toys being well made and the surprising strength of the varnish on the coffee table. Sadly, I fear the first thing to go will be my head. The bright side to all this banging that I assume as he grows this behavior will stop. I mean how long can a little boy really enjoy smashing and hitting things?
Yoga Anyone?
Posted by Proud Dad in Baby on Board on August 9, 2010
A while ago, I mentioned one of LTD’s new tricks, which was to sit and spin on the living room floor. Well, he has added another arrow to his quiver of tricks. Lately, he has been performing the yoga position known as Downward Facing Dog or just Downward Dog if you are in a hurry to say yoga poses. Seeing him in this new position is even funnier than watching his sit and spin. When he is upside down you can get on the floor and wave at him through his legs. While watching the little guy you get the impression that he thinks he invented looking at the world upside down. He has never failed to smile when you steal a glimpse at him through the arch created by his legs.
I will add that perhaps the funniest thing about LTD’s Downward Dog was the whole process of watching him discover it and then watching him as he decided to use it. He will just be cruising around and then stop for no particular reason and pop into the pose. He is very close to spinning while in Downward Dog, which should also be funny to see. As long as he doesn’t make himself sick because I don’t know what happens to the world when a baby heaves upside down.
Book Review – Grover’s Just So-So Stories
Posted by Proud Dad in Book Review on August 6, 2010
Okay, so I have finally finished Street Gang: The Complete History of Sesame Street, but before I end my first Sesame Street kick I would like to present 1983’s Grover’s Just So So-Stories. The book plays off of Rudyard Kipling’s Just So Stories for Little Children and instead of the tale of how the Elephant Got His Trunk these stories include How the Monster Got His Fur and How the Honker Got His Honk. While the story detailing how monsters got fur isn’t scientifically accurate it uses poetic license to prove that the monsters needed fur to stay warm. The tale of the Honker is slightly more realistic with more of a nice moral lesson that everyone is important. Now all that is left is to see what happens during my next Sesame Street kick. And as always I must mention that Grover’s Just So-So Stories is Elmo free.
Product Review – Patemm Pad
Posted by Proud Dad in Product Review on August 4, 2010
As many of you know, LTD has taken a distinct dislike to lying still on the changing table. The problem is bad enough at home, but out of the house it has become down right uncool. It’s like he is trying out for the lead role of a fish out of water in a play about a fish out of water. However, we have discovered a weapon in our fight against the flip and the flop, the Patemm Pad. The pad is large and round, so when the kid decides to do the hustle while you are changing him he stays on the pad instead of getting poo on your best friends carpet. At the end of the day, it’s just easier to change the little guy on the floor and the Pad provides an excellent space to do just that.
The Patemm Pad also comes with inner pockets in order to store diapers and other changing accoutrements. Of course another feature that is a must when dealing with baby stuff is that the
Pad folds up into itself to form a nice little package. The Pad also feels more durable than other changing pads and creates the illusion have stepped into another world, a world where babies aren’t in charge if even for a moment.
Sweat Lodge
Posted by Proud Dad in Baby on Board on August 2, 2010
Any one living on the east coast knows that it seems like this summer has been one long heat wave. Beyond the Car Seat doesn’t want to have a debate about global climate change 
except to say this: Last week our central air conked out. The inside thermostat was in the 90’s and the whole family was in a foul mood for a few days. Thankfully, our electrician/plumber Joe was able to fix it and now life is back to normal. The internal heat wave caused us all to sweat profusely and things quickly devolved into mild unpleasantness as our society began to break down. The baby sweat caused LTD’s hair to become matted down and he looked like a hobo. It didn’t help that he spent most of the time without a shirt on. There is something a little pathetic about seeing a kid that sweaty, I think because he doesn’t know to clean himself up and make himself presentable. He brought new meaning to the word disheveled. Now that the house is cool and the heat wave finally over I appreciate life more and express joy that my kid’s appearance no longer attracts harsh stares directed at me by society’s judges.
Book Review – Ocar’s Silly ABC’s and Other Stories
Posted by Proud Dad in Book Review on July 30, 2010
So I’m still reading Street Gang: The Complete History of Sesame Street (Yes, I should have finished it by now, but having a 16 month old isn’t conducive to reading books that don’t have 
cartoon cows on the cover in a timely manner) and I’m still riding my first Sesame Street kick. 1987’s Oscar’s Silly ABC’s and Other Stories leads with Oscar the Grouch’s Grumpster Dictionary. The story features definitions of silly words like Flabbergasted and Rotten. However, the books highlight is the story starring The Amazing Mumford. Of course, no Mumford magic trick would be complete without his assistant Grover. Mumford performs awesome word tricks like changing one letter to make the word rock into sock, a fete I would have liked to see Houdini try. The heart of the book is provided by Snuffle-upagus. The furry friend takes care of everyone in his story. However, as always the truly best part, no Elmo.
Product Review – Mal Vu Edition
Posted by Proud Dad in Product Review on July 28, 2010
As long time readers of Beyond the Car Seat know I don’t write negative reviews. My thinking being that I don’t want to lend any bad product any ink in order to keep the phrase, there is no such thing as bad publicity, at bay. However, occasionally products stink enough that I feel duty bound to bring them into the light. The first item up for bid is the Snack Ball by Boon. Now normally, Boon makes well designed cool products, but it seems that with the Snack Ball they went for style over substance. The lid, which slides open is never quite tight enough causing the contents to fall out whenever the ball is in a diaper bag. Also, the Snack Ball isn’t really cut out for the riggers of childhood in other words its no Timex. This thing takes a licking and does NOT keep on ticking. Of course the disappointing part is that I wanted it to work so I could stop using my high tech ziplock bag.
An even more disappointing product is Dreambaby’s Stay-Put Cutlery & Bowl Set. To quote The Mommy, ‘great idea, poor execution.’ The set is designed with a suction cup on the bowl so it stays 
on the high chair tray with the fork and spoon attached by to their own suction cups via a short cord. There is only one problem with the set, it is built so poorly and out of such shotty material that the suction cups don’t suck they suck. It really is a shame because it is such a simple smart idea that they should have taken the ten extra minutes to make it actually work. When it comes to feeding a baby there are enough challenges and headaches that you don’t need to pour fuel on the fire. Here’s to hoping next time both companies get it right because the children are the future so we better treat them well.
Hey, There is a Baby in First Class
Posted by Proud Dad in Baby on Board on July 27, 2010
It turns out both parents need to be present in order to get a baby a passport (which makes sense to prevent a bitter custody battle from getting more bitter) so The Mommy and I had our trip to the post office on our to do list for a long time. A few weeks ago, the fates aligned and it allowed us to finally get the little guy his passport. The Mommy found out that passport rates were going up soon and she had a rare day off and so we decided to pull a Nike and Just Do It. The application process started with The Mommy and me trying unsuccessfully to take and print the passport photos ourselves as we had done for our own pictures (see the internet for how to do this). I called one of the only photo places still in business and the owner said it would be nine bucks and he had take many a kids passport photo. We cruised over got the pictures and then went to a nice clean post office near by.
Once at the post office we were whisked into a back room where passports are processed. I had already filled out his application online and printed out. We waited a bit, then the clerk looked at our ID and took the application along with LTD’s birth certificate. A little over hundred dollars and few minutes later we were done. The other day I got the passport in the mail and it looks pretty good. I was a little worried that his original birth certificate wasn’t included with the passport, but decided to wait a few days before calling. Well, his birth certificate came under separate cover yesterday saving me the trouble of getting lost in the United States Department of State phone system. All in all a pretty painless process and now if any one gives us a free international vacation to Bora Bora we are completely ready.