Archive for category Baby on Board
Honk if You Have my Nose
Posted by Proud Dad in Baby on Board on September 6, 2010
About a month ago The Mommy taught LTD a few facial features eyes, mouth, nose. Lately, we have added chin, cheeks and even moved down the body to the elbow. However, the nose remains LTD’s favorite because unlike the other parts the nose involves an action (well, the eye’s action is him poking me in the eye, so we won’t select that one for special mention). When LTD hears the word nose he first grabs his with thumb and finger as you utter the only thing one can utter in that situation, honk-honk. Next, he frees his own schnoz from bondage and locks on to his next target. He grabs my nose and then, again, I have to say honk-honk. I of course have to remind friends and family that if he grabs their noses they need to honk. Heaven help us all if they don’t. The funny thing about his nose grabbing is that if we are reading a book and the word nose comes up or he points to something and it’s a nose (really a animal’s snout) and I say nose he immediately grabs his nose. Thankfully, he lets go pretty quick so we feel no need to curb this behavior. It’s also way better than him lifting up my shirt and sticking his finger in my belly button.
Earth Day is Everyday
Posted by Proud Dad in Baby on Board on September 2, 2010
LTD the human tornado has firmly put one object in his sights, the recycle bin. The little guy is obsessed with both the paper bin and the plastic/metal bin. On the one hand I let him have at it because it occupies his attention for longer than most things and isn’t really dangerous. However, if you talk about one hand you have to talk about the other. He makes a wicked bad mess. The plastic isn’t so bad, I just pick it all up and put in back in the bin and besides he keeps me honest because now I make sure to thoroughly wash everything. The paper is a different story. You see, LTD takes his career as the human tornado very seriously and while on the job he makes sure to not only pull all the paper goods out of the bin but also to rip them apart into tiny little pieces. It would appear the terms of his tornado contract specifically state that he does not have to clean up after shredding. I hope the collectors appreciate that he is doing their job for them.
Gulliver’s Travels
Posted by Proud Dad in Baby on Board on August 31, 2010
Last night The Mommy and I went to find some pajamas for the boy to wear and whenever we do that I always encourage her to put him in the awesome superhero pjs. She said, I don’t think you are going to like how this is about to go. She reluctantly put the little guy into the sweet superhero pjs and they so didn’t fit at all. I know what you’re thinking, what’s my point? My point is I can remember that it seemed like just the other day that the awesome superhero pajamas were way too big for him. LTD has become like one of those toys you put in water and watch grow 50 times in seconds. It is crazy to me that I can literally watch him grow before my very own eyes. In a way I feel like a magician or gardener. I guess the reason I’m going on like this is because he was really swimming in those pajamas and now the thought that they are too tight blows my mind. However, all is now clear, my only course of action is to stop feeding him.
Oh, Great, We Get to do it Again
Posted by Proud Dad in Baby on Board on August 26, 2010
LTD and I have a pretty tight daily routine. However, the routine can be a cruel goddess, she gives with one hand and takes with the other. The benefits of our routine keep us from going into the tall grass. Kids need structure and I need a schedule to follow when I’m too tired to think straight. Also, it’s important to note that the routine doesn’t destroy creativity or spontaneity, rather it allows the little guy to take a nap and eat meals without getting hungry enough to have a level five meltdown. The routine is great if someone else has to take care of LTD, he hardly notices we’ve gone.
The flip side to the positive aspects of the daily routine lie in the brutal soul stripping sameness of every day activities. In and out of the car, putting the shoes and socks back on, and my personal demon the highchair tray. It seems as if I am always washing it. And let’s not forget the diapers or telling him to stop sticking his finger in the dog’s eye. One simple ritual from our daily routine somehow manages to make everything else worth doing every day. LTD will wander behind the couch and then pop out, open is mouth into a huge gaping grin and say, ‘ahhhhh.’
Yeah, Are You Gonna Finish That?
Posted by Proud Dad in Baby on Board on August 24, 2010
Normally, I have to inhale my lunch over the sink while LTD takes his nap. I never know how long he will be asleep for and have to plan accordingly. However, occasionally, I will eat in front of him. When that happens all hell breaks loose. When eating in front of friends, co- workers or family; you may say, this is good, try a taste or they may say, that looks yummy can I have a bite? Well, LTD has no use for such polite manners. He demands a bite. He lets his desire for your food be known through physical and verbal actions. He points and waves his hand in the direction of the delicious pizza you are about to eat. He screams ‘uh’ over and over and over again until you simply break. Don’t even get me started on what happens if you try and eat Dairy Queen in front of him. The whole scene turns into Lord of the Flies and I get to be that Piggy kid with the glasses. Time for me to go back to eating quickly over the sink.
Why is my Tongue Blue?
Posted by Proud Dad in Baby on Board on August 19, 2010
As long time readers of Beyond the Car Seat know I spend a lot of time in grocery stores as they are one of the few places open early in the morning. One of these trips yielded a boon of sorts. It turns out blueberries are in season and so the store was having an insane sale. Four pints for five bucks. The amazing thing about the sale was that it also applied to the organic blueberries. I thought to myself, that can’t be right, so I also thought it out loud to the clerk and made him double check. Organic blueberries are important because according to The Mommy blueberries suck up pesticides big time. Long story short we had now had a ton of blueberries in the house. 
Well I’m here to tell you that LTD only had one thing to say on the subject and that was, bring it on. The little guy ate a little less than a pint by himself at one sitting. As fast as I could pour them out he sucked them down. The only thing standing in his way of perpetual eating was the fact that he would occasionally smush them with his finger before eating them. You can guess what the only problem with eating that many blueberries is, yup, that’s right folks we had some amazing diapers to the loan the diaper museum in Parsippany.
Put Me in the Zoo
Posted by Proud Dad in Baby on Board on August 17, 2010
So we have one of those, my son is a genius things on our hands. Even though he isn’t even a year and half old yet, he is capable of reciting Shakespeare. Okay, that is not true even a little bit. However, he is still wicked smart and knows his animals. If you approach LTD and ask him what a cow says, he will answer with the only acceptable answer to that question, Moo. And yes, I know what you’re thinking, it is the cutest thing ever. The only small problem is that the little guy doesn’t open his mouth to form his lips into the o shape, so his moo is pretty muffled, but still awesome. In fact, his moo is so in grained in his system that if you read a book to him and there is a cow in it, he will moo. You don’t even what to know what happens if he sees a cow in real life, the cute police come and it takes forever to fill out the paperwork. 
LTD’s vocabulary isn’t limited to bovines. If you ask him what sound a bear makes, he of course growls. The Mommy and I have had his growl analyzed and the scientists feel it is in fact funnier than his moo. Sometimes I even get scared when I hear his growl because I fear a bear is actually on the loose. He is currently working on his quack, which is getting stronger everyday and his oink, which needs a lot of work. The only challenge left is that I don’t know what noise a rhinoceros makes.
Quiet Riot
Posted by Proud Dad in Baby on Board on August 12, 2010
I believe most people at one time or another have enjoyed the Quiet Riot hit song, Bang Your Head, however some more than others have taken the song’s message to heart. Somehow LTD found a copy of the album Metal Health and has used it as the inspiration for his latest pattern of behavior. That’s right true believers, he has started to hit his head against everything and anything. He does this when he is very frustrated and sometimes hits his noggin hard. He also does this when he is being silly and hits his melon less hard.
At first, it was all quite alarming, but now we just try and get him to stop. The Mommy ran the melon mashing by her peeps and they told her that it is fairly common in boys. One of the moms from the mom group shared that their doctor told them her son did it all the time and after he hit so hard he almost concussed himself, he learned it wasn’t such a good idea to do it anymore. Hopefully, it won’t take knocking himself out for LTD to learn to stop banging his head, but at the end of the day all we can do is try and stop him quickly and hope he grows out of it. I imagine it would be pretty embarrassing if he head butt’s his date at the Spring formal.
Hulk Smash
Posted by Proud Dad in Baby on Board on August 10, 2010
Another day another baby milestone. Unfortunately, LTD’s new favorite thing to do is loud, destructive and annoying. That’s right, folks, the little guy has taken to banging things on the
coffee table. It was bad enough when he tries to eat the coffee table, but now he is really testing the structural integrity of both the table and my ears. However, I can’t help but feel this is karmic pay back from my Hulk phase when I was a lad. I don’t want you to think he is obsessed with just the table; he also bangs things on the floor, the cabinets and my head.
The amazing thing about the little caveman’s smashing fetish is that he hasn’t actually smashed anything. I chalk this up to the toys being well made and the surprising strength of the varnish on the coffee table. Sadly, I fear the first thing to go will be my head. The bright side to all this banging that I assume as he grows this behavior will stop. I mean how long can a little boy really enjoy smashing and hitting things?
Yoga Anyone?
Posted by Proud Dad in Baby on Board on August 9, 2010
A while ago, I mentioned one of LTD’s new tricks, which was to sit and spin on the living room floor. Well, he has added another arrow to his quiver of tricks. Lately, he has been performing the yoga position known as Downward Facing Dog or just Downward Dog if you are in a hurry to say yoga poses. Seeing him in this new position is even funnier than watching his sit and spin. When he is upside down you can get on the floor and wave at him through his legs. While watching the little guy you get the impression that he thinks he invented looking at the world upside down. He has never failed to smile when you steal a glimpse at him through the arch created by his legs.
I will add that perhaps the funniest thing about LTD’s Downward Dog was the whole process of watching him discover it and then watching him as he decided to use it. He will just be cruising around and then stop for no particular reason and pop into the pose. He is very close to spinning while in Downward Dog, which should also be funny to see. As long as he doesn’t make himself sick because I don’t know what happens to the world when a baby heaves upside down.