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Please Don’t Steal Anything

Thankfully this doesn’t happen a lot and it usually only happens in Whole Foods. It is just me and the boy and we have all our bags and food on the table when LTD announces, “I have to go to the bathroom.” I basically have no choice but to leave everything and take the lad to do his business. If he is just making peeps it really isn’t a big deal, but if he says, “I feel like I have to poop.” Then you know it’s the real deal. We are talking a good fifteen minutes of me saying, are you done? I run and peak out at our stuff and it is always okay, but for me the real issue is that my meal is getting cold. In fact even though this is probably not sanitary I have on occasion eaten a slice of pizza in the lavatory. Now I know what your thinking, ‘that’s gross.’ And before I had the little guy I would have 100 percent agreed with you, but after a toddler sticks his dirty hands in your mouth or you deal with as many diapers as I have the things you find gross begin to move down the scale.

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