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Lifetime Movie: Mommy, Why Can’t I Poop?

PCWhile poo may indeed be an unpleasant topic for polite society it does remain a subject that demands a lot of attention among new parents, and with that introduction I suppose you can guess what this post will be about. Breast-fed babies typically do not poo as much as formula fed ones and it is not usual for them to not poo for even three or four days. LTD has been fairly consistent with his poo, going about every three days. However, this past week he hadn’t gone for five days and was clearly backed up. Interestingly, during this time he had no problem producing what The Mommy called, “stinky gas.” Anyway, on the morning of our nation’s Independence Day I consulted with The Mommy about the use of our old friend Pedia-Lax, a product we hadn’t used since LTD was four days old. We reached consensus and it was decided that we would use the product. Knowing that once the dam bursts there would be not an insignificant amount of poo, we prepare for the volume with paper towels, wipes and numerous paper diapers. Let me tell you the only thing you need to know about Pedia-Lax, brother, I am here to tell you it works, it works big time. The instructions indicate that it may take between a quarter to a full hour, so while we waited The Mommy fed him. Towards the end of his meal, The Mommy felt something “begin to happen” and we rushed him to the changing pad. We survived the first and second wave without incident and then we got cocky. Believing LTD had emptied the tank we pulled back from DefCon 1 and relaxed enough that we both reached for a wipe at the same time leaving the diaper undone. Before we could even blink poo shot across the pad, table, window and finally landed on the mini-blinds. Sadly, it was another lesson learned that even when you think you are ready, when it comes to poo, the baby is still in charge.

On a side note, later in the day the dog ate an ant trap resulting in us pouring hydrogen peroxide down her throat, the outcome of which was her puking her brains out. In the end, this Fourth of July was one with two special kinds of fireworks.

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