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No Wonder He’s Single

My friend Erica had a baby boy last week and as I extend my congratulations to her I will also share with her a piece of advice. Take those pictures now. Something happens to newborns around three weeks of age that no one talks about all that much. The condition is one that new parents don’t think they will have to deal with until the teenage years alas, I give you the scourge that is infant acne.

At birth, LTD never really looked like a newborn, he didn’t have that red smushed look. On day one he basically looked like he looks now. The Mommy and I were very happy to have avoided that awkward period in which the newborn looks like an escapee from the island of the mole people. However, our good fortune in the looks department didn’t last. Around week three LTD didn’t just get a little baby acne, he got a lot. The red pimples were mostly on his chest and face with a few scattered elsewhere. Combine the pooping and peeing on himself with the acne and it is no wonder he can’t get a date. The good news is that after a few weeks the acne went away as quickly as it came. The doctor informed us not to panic, as the red stuff was indeed acne and not a rash, hives or signs of alien hybrid activity. The pimples never got scaly and never bled, which was another indication they were the result of acne. Sadly, it was all perfectly normal.

New Dad Suggestion (NDS): Baby acne is not caused by dirt or grease it is caused by hormones and there is nothing you can do about it. If you want to feel like you are useful you can use a warm washcloth with water, but don’t bother with the Clearasil, nature is in charge.

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